Connection in the Chaos

Turning and turning in the widening gyre   

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere   

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

WB Yeats, The Second Coming

The world is on fire. Each morning, I wake and wonder what has happened while I slept. What is about to happen? What does it mean for me, for those I love?

There is little I can do to influence the decisions being made in the capital cities around the world or the eventual outcome of the wars raging in Europe and the Middle East. Freezing in the face of such dangerous chaos is perhaps the most reasonable response. With no let up on what is happening in the world, I could easily get stuck and lose my connection with my body, the people I care about and the world around me.

Mental health does not exist in a vacuum. The environment matters. The continuous interaction between the individual, the environment and the way they experience it shapes our wellbeing. In infancy and childhood, this forms our sense of self, our identity, our ability to regulate our emotions. In a supportive environment that sees and values us for who we are, we develop resilience and healthy coping strategies. But if the environment has been inconsistent, emotionally absent, unstable or rife with conflict we’re likely to have little resilience and maladaptive strategies for surviving the world around us. As we grow into adulthood, this plays out in our way of being in the world, in our relationships with ourselves, and others.

So, how do we build resilience and stay regulated in the midst of the chaos around us today?

Resilience does not come from pretending everything is fine. Ignoring that ‘Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world’ is not the answer. Instead, we need to anchor ourselves in our bodies and in the relationships that connect us to safety, meaning and agency.

Little everyday practices can change our physiological state and bring regulation. Stepping outside and feeling the breeze on our cheeks. Moving our body with intention. Listening to the chatter of birds. We remind our bodies that now, in this moment, we are okay.

Humans are social creatures. We can regulate one another. Spending time and engaging with those we experience as safe can transform. We can slow down, moving our focus from the terrifying future to the safe enough now. In the process we notice our choices. I might not be able to change the decisions of world leaders, but I can choose what to do and how to be in the here and now of my life.

And in choosing presence, connection, and mindful action, we reclaim a sense of agency and resilience, even as the world burns around us.